SEX VS. GENDER

Let’s talk about sex. This is a human sexuality class after all. Now, I’m not talking about the act of sex. I’m talking about the sex of a person. What even is sex? What even is gender? How are the two even related? Well, the word sex, as I see it, is related to the physical being that a person is. This is determined by the genitals they are born with. Gender is how and who a person feels they are on the inside. There are many different sexes and there are many different genders. The most common sexes being male, female, and intersex (which used to be referred to as hermaphrodite). Intersex may mean someone is born with testes and a vagina or a penis and ovaries or any combination of the two or neither.  As for genders, the most common were the same for a long time. It used to be that there wasn’t a difference between sex and gender and you were either a male or a female. Now, there are multiple genders besides just male and female. The majority of the “out of the norm” gender identities fall under the realm of “genderqueer”. Genders such as andrognye, which is feeling both like a man and a woman, feeling like neither a man or a woman; which is known as agender or non-binary, as well as the feeling of moving between the genders of male and female which is known as gender fluid. (Genderqueer 2011).

With every gender, comes the roles we are supposed to commit to in order to fill society’s expectations. There is the masculine role for males and the feminine role for females. Males are supposed to be strong, not show emotions, like and talk about sex, and be leaders. Whereas women are shown to be dependent on men, weak, and emotional. When it comes to sex for women, we are told to stay “pure”, to not acknowledge our sexual desires, but men are encouraged to sexualize and objectify women’s bodies. The double standard surrounding sex effects almost all aspects of our everyday lives. Young girls see posters of stick thin super models emanating sex appeal, but are slut shamed if they wear a short skirt. Girls are taught how to avoid rape, “don’t wear this”, “don’t drink that”; but boys aren’t taught not to rape. Boys are taught from a young age that masturbation is natural, sometimes even necessary, but girls are taught to suppress those urges and some don’t even know what a clitoris is until their twenties. The gender bias and gender roles humans are forced into are becoming less strict and more interchangeable, I’ll give you that. With the number of stay at home dads increasing by almost 1 million between 1989 and 2012 (Dads 2014), and more women in the workforce and fighting for women’s rights’ we’re headed in the right direction, but we’re not quite there yet.

1.      Growing Number of Dads Home with the Kids. (2014, June 5). Retrieved October 9, 2015.

2.      Reason Foundation. (2015). Everything's awesome and Camille Pagila is unhappy! The author sexual personae talks about feminism, rape, academia, and Hilary Clinton. Contemporary Women's Issues.

3.   What is "Genderqueer"? (n.d.). Retrieved October 9, 2015.

IS BISEXUALITY REAL???

Okay, so we're going into this week's post assuming that you have a basic knowledge of hetero and homosexuality. 
If you don't, you can find information about them here and here. 
Now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk a little about bisexuality. Now what is "bisexuality"? Well, according to this, bisexual is being "sexually attracted to both men and women, having both male and female sex parts,  relating to or involving two sexes". 
I'm hoping I'm not the only person who has a problem with this definition. 
Let's take another look, shall we? "Sexually attracted to both men and women, having both male and female sex parts, relating to or involving two sexes". 
Okay wait.. "having both male and female sex parts"? That doesn't seem right to me. If you look up what it means to have both male and female sex "parts" (really, Merriam-Webster; you couldn't even write sex organs, or genitalia??) it will take you to the word "hermaphroditism" and according to the Encyclopedia Britannica, hermaphroditism is "the condition of having both male and female reproductive organs". 
Explain that, Merriam-Webster. 
Being someone who identifies as a bisexual female, I understand the general definition of what bisexual means. To me, it means that you have an attraction towards two genders. 
To my knowledge, most people associate bisexual people with only liking men and women. I, however, disagree because there aren't just men and women. There are many different genders that do not and will not fit into the tiny tiny box of your narrow mind. 
Seeing as I am only one person, I decided I needed to gather a little more evidence to prove my point that bisexuals do in fact exist. 
I was racking my brain trying to remember thing I had seen or looked up or videos I had watched that had to do with bisexuality. 
I remember seeing this video floating around my "What to Watch" page on YouTube

This video was made by YouTube personality R.J. Aguiar on his channel TheNotAdam.
In this video, he talks about what it means to be bisexual to him. 
The video starts with him taking a HUGE breath in making an audible sigh. I love this because I think it is what most Bi people think of doing what asked about their sexuality repeatedly. 
He goes on to say "Alright internet. So I want to put an end to a question I keep getting over and over. So, let me just state once clearly and unambiguously for the record; that YES I am a bisexual male. I know I've talked about this multiple times on my channel and on our main channel and on our website, but it apparently doesn't seem to be getting through to some of you"
THANK YOU. THANK YOU R.J. FOR SAYING THIS. 
In my experience, this is what most bisexual people have to endure all the time. People don't believe that we are even REAL or that bisexuality is even a thing! 

I'm sure (if you haven't already) by now, you're asking yourself why I am talking about bisexuality.
The short answer is we read a few articles about it in my Gender & Mass Media class and watched a video about gay representation in the media and it just made me so angry. 
One of the articles we read was titled "The Limitations of the Discourse of Norms: Gay Visibility and Degrees of Transgression". We also watched a video along with that article. In the video it talked about how in media, television shows especially, a character can only be bisexual if it is made clear that they are only experimenting and if it is found otherwise, they are most likely going to be killed off. This really started to "grind my gears", I suppose. 
I guess, the fact that, in my experience, most people associate bisexuality with being  confused or only experimenting is a) bullshit and b) just a ridiculous thought. 
I mean where are people getting their information from? 
Also, where do people get the idea that someone is more promiscuous if they identify as bisexual???
Promiscuity is based solely on the individual being promiscuous. Sexual preference has nothing to do with how much sex a person can/ wants to have. (Unless you identify as asexual, I suppose, but that is a post for another day). 
Anyway, there are three things I wish to leave you with today
1) BISEXUALITY IS AN ATTRACTION TO TWO GENDERS 
2) BISEXUALITY IS 100% REAL AND VALID, JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.
3) BISEXUALITY DOES NOT EQUAL PROMISCUITY

Oh, and one more thing I almost forgot..
Here's an amazing ASL cover of "Thnks fr th mmrs"
You're welcome in advance

"YOU PLAY BALL LIKE A GIRL"

                                            

In this clip from the 1993 movie The Sandlot, you will see two rival baseball teams arguing. One of the boys from each team start throwing insults at each other like it's nothing. They take no time coming up with things to say to each other. That is until the character of "Ham" says that the other boy "plays ball like a girl". The look on the boy's face is almost as if Ham had physically slapped him in the face. 

This is not uncommon in the media and in life in general. People try and use the term "like a girl" as an insult. A powerful example of trying to end this stereotype and stigma of the words "like a girl" is the famous "Always #LikeAGirl" commercial.

In this commercial, you will see young adult females, and adult male, and a young boy who are asked to "run like a girl". They begin moving as if they are almost prancing. They are then asked what it is like to fight and throw "like a girl". They don't really put any "fire" behind their actions. What I mean by that is that they are very un-energetic and act like just because someone is a girl, it means that they are "delicate" and "fragile" or WORRY ABOUT THEIR HAIR ALL THE TIME (I'm talking to you, girl in the blue and orange shirt). 

When younger girls were asked the same questions, they had very different responses. When asked to run "like a girl". They begin to run with conviction. They run like it means something. When asked to "throw like a girl", they throw as if they are a pitcher in the major leagues. When they are asked to "fight like a girl", they fight like they're working towards a black belt in karate. 

The Always team poses the question, "when did doing something "like a girl" become an insult"?

So, when did doing something "like a girl" become an insult? 

In the movie "She's The Man", the girls' soccer team is cut and they try and save their team by joining the boys' team.

                                         

In this clip, you see the main character Viola (Amanda Bynes) trying to convince the soccer coach to let the girls play in his team. He is then outwardly sexist, misogynistic, and downright rude. He goes on to say that, "you're all excellent players, but girls aren't as fast as boys, or strong, or as athletic. This is not me talking, this is scientific fact. Girls can't beat boys, it's as simple as that". 

IF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS MOVIE BEFORE (what are you even doing with your life)
DO NOT READ THIS PART:

Spoiler alert: SHE JOINS THE RIVAL SCHOOL'S TEAM AND KICKS THEIR ASSES IN THE GAME. 

But back to the point about girls not being as strong as boys. According to this study, there is very little difference in performance between girls and boys before puberty. The gap grows as puberty progresses, but it is still not enormous, depending on the people of course. 

This is so important for young girls to understand. There is enough pressure on young girls and women nowadays. Pressure to be perfect. Pressure to be beautiful. Pressure to be "girly".

What even is "girly"?
Who defines what being a girl means? 

Who cares?

It doesn't matter.

We should be supporting each other rather than telling someone they aren't good enough because of their gender. 

It's like telling someone they aren't good enough because of their skin color, or what size they are, or their sexual preference. It's completely unnecessary. 

As you all know, I like to end my posts with a song. This week, I wanted to go for something powerful. This is for all you girls out there that kick ass at sports. You kick ass because you're a girl. Not only that, but because you are you.

                                           

Inner Beauty Doesn't Matter.... Right?

                In class today, we began discussing the article, “Television and the Domestication of Cosmetic Surgery”. This article discusses topics such as, “the practice of aesthetic eugenics as charity”. Which is basically taking out the physical traits that make someone “ugly”. In relation to the topic of aesthetic eugenics, the article began to talk about the show “Extreme Makeover”. The show is aimed to make the viewers feel bad for the “candidates” because there is something “wrong” with them physically. After the candidates receive their plastic surgeries, however, their whole lives are “changed”. Making it seem that since their physical appearance has changed, they are somehow a different person.              
               While I am not someone to judge another person on how they look or live their life, there may be a thing as too much plastic surgery, an extreme amount; if you will. I would include a clip from the show “Extreme Makeover”, but I couldn't find one that I thought suited this post well enough. I did, however, find an episode of the show “My Strange Addiction” that seemed to fit in very well. The episode is entitled, “My Strange Addiction: I'm a Living Doll!” The episode follows three adults who are “real life dolls”. 

                                      As you will see in the video, the man in the episode has had over 100 plastic surgeries including five nose jobs to achieve the doll look. 
 

               Going back to the show “Extreme Makeover”, while watching a clip of it in class, another show of the same concept came into my head.

                The Show “BridalPlasty” is a show where, you guessed it, the women compete for a dream wedding. Oh and a wish list of plastic surgeries. 

                                           

In the video, the host of the show states that, "some may need some extra help", in reference to every bride wanting to be perfect. The clip then shows the women discussing what they believe is ring with their bodies. 

Below, you can see some of the wish lists of the "contestants" on "BridalPlasty".

The fact that these women believe they need to be "fixed" with plastic surgeries is very saddening to me.

             In an article from the National Women's Health Network, Sandra Bogar  states that, "The recent show, Bridalpasty, took the concept of an indulgent bride to new and dangerous extremes." She also states, "The first time I saw advertisements for the show, my heart sank. The messages it sends to women and the implications it makes about women are horrendous. It tells women that they are not good enough as they are, and encourages women to be unsupportive towards one another. Moreover, this show inflicts mental and physical harm by undermining self-esteem and positive body image and using radical, dangerous surgery to needlessly alter young women’s bodies."

            I agree with her completely and am so glad she brought this issue to light. The problem with the media in today's day and age is that is targeting women and trying to make them think who they are now is not good enough. The beauty standard that women are put up too is unrealistic, sexist, and in my opinion, complete and utter bullshit. The only opinion that should matter is your own. The only person you need to impress is yourself. 

        

           Now, I have come to realize that I very much enjoy ending off these blog posts (chill, Kayla, you've only written two..) with music videos. So, instead of a twenty dollar nose job, have a twenty dollar nose bleed. 

                                       

Rumor has it, he's too old for you.

Well, its 8:45 on the night this blog post has to go up. In less than three hours, I have to have completed a 350 word blog post that needs to express the ideas of both gender and media while tying in topics we have talked about in class. Oh, and it also has to make sense and sound eloquent, I’m sure. Originally, I was going to discuss one of my favorite TV shows, and then the topic went to the show “Everybody Hates Chris” and the working class African American family, and now who knows. There is a myriad of topics I could be discussing right now, but the truth is; I don’t know much about anything that has to do with media or the way gender ties into it. So, let’s talk about something I do know; movies. My mother has the movie “Rumor Has It” on in the background while I’m trying to type this. I’m watching Jennifer Anniston kiss Kevin Costner and it is getting me thinking about the age difference between the two characters. I mean, he had sex with her mother for God sakes, and her grandmother! Not judging, of course, but…anyway. Now I’m looking up the age differences between other characters in other well-known movies. This search led me to a site that talked about on screen age differences. This offered zero information, other than the titles of the movies I am about to talk about. In the movie, “PrettyWoman”, Richard Gere was 40 and Julia Roberts only 22; leaving an 18 year age gap between the two. In the movie, “The Wolf of Wall Street”, Leonardo Dicaprio’s and Margot Robbie’s age difference is that of 16 years (can you believe he is only 39?!). Another example of Richard Gere loving his younger ladies is the 2012 film “Arbitrage”. In this film, Gere is 63 and his costar Laetitia Casta is 34, this means there was a 29 year age gap between the two of them. And finally, let’s bring it back to “Rumor Has It”, in this movie; Kevin Costner is a young 50 while Jennifer Anniston is 36. In case math isn’t your strong suit, that’s 14 years between the two. There was a film we watched in class recently that talked about the age gap between men and their younger female lovers in film. In my opinion, in the media, women are made to look and be younger, as well as demure and pure. Women are made to look weak. Women are made to look like as soon as an older man takes interest in you, you need to drop everything to be with him. That is just not the case in real life, or at least it shouldn’t be. Let's end this "angsty" post with something empowering brought to you by the ever so wonderful, Fall Out Boy.